First appeared in The Alabama Baptist newspaper, October 28, 2024 issue. Used with Permission.
When asked why they started attending a church, many churchgoers simply point to the reality that someone invited them. This personal invite is the make-or-break element for reaching our communities for Christ.
Now, some may use this to downplay the importance of good preaching, strong doctrine, healthy worship, or deep discipleship. These aspects of the church experience remain important. But we must appreciate that our members will only invite friends or neighbors to church when they have confidence that the experience will enhance, not hinder their evangelistic goals.
One of the most deadly traps church leaders fall into, with regards to making our churches “invite-worthy,” is not recognizing the power of “the cringe.”
We’ve all had the experience — the moment we experience church through the lens of a guest. We love our church and attend each week with joy and a sense of purpose. But we also experience it as an insider, already convinced of its good. Because of this, we willingly overlook some things. But, if we invite a friend, we suddenly become aware of the junk pushed into the corner, outdated posters, disjointed worship service, bad smell in the kids area, or less than friendly “welcoming team.”
This causes the dreaded cringe; we tense up and hope the new people missed that point. Most of us have grown comfortable in our current ways of doing things and we “know the hearts” of those around us. Therefore, we may excuse laziness or sloppiness. However, we instinctively know guests don’t have this same tolerance.
Since the personal invite is the single most important tool for reaching our communities, it’s essential church leaders strive to eliminate as many “cringe moments” as possible. Pastors, we must remember, our church members are often working and praying for the souls of their friends and family members. When God stirs the heart, we want our church to be an experience worthy of the invite.
Here are three things you can do to help your church members avoid the cringe.
1. Cultivate the habit of seeing as an outsider.
At least once a month, walk through your buildings, review your worship and educational services, consider different elements of church life and ask yourself: “How would this hit me if I were a guest?”
You can’t address everything at once, but over time, and with regular evaluation, you can make great strides.
2. Ask for help.
Get together with several pastors in the area and form a “Cringe Team.” Visit each other’s churches for a walk-through or watch videos of services. Offer helpful, outsider viewpoints.
Pastor, you might also put together a survey of church members asking if there is anything about the church experience that may make them hesitant to invite friends to worship.
Note: Every critique took courage to provide and is only given to make things better. Don’t defend or be offended.
3. Remember, any week could be someone’s first week.
Most churches don’t have new visitors each week, and this could lead us to be complacent. However, some Sunday, the person one of your church members has been praying for may attend. It’s our responsibility to do all we can to make this church experience a help, not hindrance on their journey of faith.
Regularly consider these questions:
Our churches are surrounded by people who desperately need the Lord. Our church members are in the community rubbing shoulders with the lost. For many, the difference between heaven and hell may be a simple invitation to church.
EDITOR’S NOTE — This story was written by D. Scott Hildreth and originally published by Lifeway Research.